"My need is such, I pretend too much"
-Freddie Mercury
One thing in my life is more certain than the sunset or moon rise. That thing is I am a sinner. I'm an imperfect, lustful monster. I've cheated, lied and destroyed people and things I love. I have hurt people and hurt myself more times than I can count. One thing I could never figure out is why people utter the words, "You're a great guy" to me. I've never seen myself as a good guy. I wondered why they saw a lie and I saw my true self. I came to realize that I love to act. I love putting on a show in front of the general public. I like to pull the masquerade mask over myself and apply the plastic smile to never reveal the wolf underneath. Pretending is my true talent. I have grown fond of my sheep skin clothing, and I have never wanted to show anyone my true identity. This has, and will always lead to my imminent destruction.
One thing I can say for sure is when sin takes over it feels natural. As Paul writes in Romans," For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate."(Romans 7:15-16) In my lust and lies I truly know that I need to do the right thing. Even though I need and want to run from the sin I hate; I keep doing the same thing. Sometimes we can feel like we're in an infinite spin cycle and there isn't a way to escape. Then I read further in Romans. "It is no longer I who does the thing I hate but the sin that dwells within me. For I know nothing good dwells in me." This is the way I (and maybe some of you) feel. You know that nothing good dwells in you and you feel defeated. Death is your flesh's main objective. Paul goes on to say,"Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?"(Romans 7:24)
The very next chapter in Romans changes tone in a significant way. Paul goes from the realization of his defeat to sin, to talks of a way to beat the flesh. Paul is absolutely right when he says there is nothing good that dwells in him. I feel like Paul much of the time. I desire to do what is the will of God, but I do the very thing I hate. The only way to defeat the flesh, is by the Holy spirit dwelling in our very core. Before Jesus died he promised that even though he was ascending to the heavens, he would send a helper to guide our path.(John 14:16-17) Jesus describes the "helper" as a spirit of truth whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. I have said that when I do what my flesh wants to do it feels natural. It's natural for your human body to desire lust and need instant gratification.In these situations I have to daily cling to the truth versus what I feel. The laws of God are a stone that I hold to in the darkest situations. What I feel is natural but what I am really seeking is the supernatural.
All humans have a secret. The secrets can range from thing of a sinful nature or small insignificant habits. The psalmist wrote,"You have set out iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of you're presence."(Psalm 90:8) We want to look into the camera of our latest "Selfie" and pretend that we have our life all together. When the psalmist wrote this verse he knew it was truth. The truth is that mine and your secret sins are already known to God, and they will always be brought into his light. Before you can ever take off your mask he sees through it and he still loves us. (Romans 5:8) If you decide to take off your mask along with me there is promise of healing. (James 5:16) Coming out of our deepest, darkest palaces of secret sin begins to feel like a great weight has been lifted from your back. There is freedom, and power in the blood of Christ. If you decide to be open, and a little less plastic in your life;God will reward you in grace, and deeper relationships with your brothers and sisters. So, here I am. The mask is lifted and I am a sinnner in an ocean of his grace. My secret sins increased in size, but none of my sins are too big not to be swallowed in a great wave of his love.
P.S. Here a song to set the mood of this post: http://youtu.be/mLRjFWDGs1g
P.S.S. God Love You!
P.S.S. Does anyone read these?
P.S.S.S.Twitter:@leaninhowtodie
P.S.S.S.S.If you like the mask in the picture:http://www.dhgate.com/store/product/2013-masquerade-colorful-plated-handmake/163129520.html
No comments:
Post a Comment