Blood on our hand's

                                                Your eyes are closed when you're praying
                                                You sing right along with the band
                                                You shine up your shoes for services
                                                There's blood on your hands

                                                                              -Jon Forman


                                I can still feel the eyes of the Pharisees in the pews; Staring and watching my every waking movement. My appearance may be the reason for the stares. I am a bearded, tattooed and homeless looking man. I wasn't dressed in a suit or tie. I was wearing a comfortable combination of my usual jeans and t-shirt. My shirt at the time had the statement,"Jesus Loves Porn Stars" on the front. I had a small bible that happened to be a different translation than KJV, and it finally hit me. I was a different breed from this particular farm of people. I had tattoos down my arms and no sense of  proper "church" etiquette or manners. The encounters I experienced in this small congregation forever shaped the way I view people of my faith. 

                           Words that enter the world from our mouth carry an enormous amount of weight. The bible says that the words we say need to build up in grace, not destroy.(Ephesians 4:29) I was chatting with a woman I have only known shortly and the subject of what I believe came up. I told her my theological thoughts on ghosts, heaven, hell and more. She looked at me with a serious face and heavy heart and said,"A Christian in my life said that she saw the devil in me. Ever since then I have excepted that I am going to hell no matter what." This shook me to my core. How could this have happened?  As people made in the image of God we do a inadequate of showing his grace. We wreck and ruin the image of the blood soaked cross when we choose to damn people instead of love them. The bible says that we can do lots of work for God's glory but if we don't do this in the spirit of love we are as useful as a loud drum cymbal being hit until our eardrums refuse to function.(1 Corinthians 13) We can say that God died for the particular person that you are speaking to but if our actions are not purely out of love but of a religious practice; Then we are wasting our breath. The bible goes on to say that if we do not love, we do not know because God is love. Love should be in every word we say and every action we do.

                           Another occasion that comes to mind in my interaction with religious folk is another one that affected me personally. Me and a close relative were leaving a store and I saw someone I knew from my time at another church I had attended. I kindly uttered the word, "hi" and no response came back. I was completely ignored by a brother in Christ and I didn't know what to do. I told me relative what had happened and he said,"That's the reason I don't go to church."  What the religious people I mentioned in my opening thoughts don't realize is that they are the reason their church is dying. I genuinely think that a vast percentage of non-believers would come to know the God we trust in if we were the image bearers we are supposed to be. We can stand in the pulpit, sit in the pews, and drink of the communion grape juice every single week of our lives until we die and it wouldn't have an impact in the vast scheme of things. The place to truly experience God is in the trenches. God is in the slums and in the houses of the broken hearted. These people don't need religion, they need a real relationship with the God who loves them more than anything we can comprehend. Religion is a path to a certain death and its easy to fall into the comfortable. If it's comfortable, it's not worthy of the short time we have left on this planet.

                            In closing I want to say that we as sinners all have blood on our hands. What we can't do is put on a show and pretend that our lies are a little less evil than anything "other" people can do. Sins are equal in their ability to send us to the same place no matter the sin we have chosen to commit. We need to start living in love and making amends to people we may have hurt with our words of hate and religion.


P.S. Check out my sisters Blog currently on the same subject as this post. Her experiences are more in depth than mine so they are definitely worthy of you're time. (www.mire2lotus.wordpress.com)
P.S.S.http://youtu.be/6uE1l75aiZc
P.S.S.S.@learninhowtodie on twitter. God Bless!

The Great Pretender

                     "My need is such, I pretend too much"


                                           -Freddie Mercury


                              One thing in my life is more certain than the sunset or moon rise. That thing is I am a sinner. I'm an imperfect, lustful monster. I've cheated, lied and destroyed people and things I love. I have hurt people and hurt myself more times than I can count. One thing I could never figure out is why people utter the words, "You're a great guy" to me. I've never seen myself as a good guy. I wondered why they saw a lie and I saw my true self.  I came to realize that I love to act. I love putting on a show in front of the general public. I like to pull the masquerade mask over myself and apply the plastic smile to never reveal the wolf underneath. Pretending is my true talent. I have grown fond of my sheep skin clothing, and I have never wanted to show anyone my true identity. This has, and will always lead to my imminent destruction.

                            One thing I can say for sure is when sin takes over it feels natural.  As Paul writes in Romans," For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate."(Romans 7:15-16)  In my lust and lies I truly know that I need to do the right thing. Even though I need and want to run from the sin I hate; I keep doing the same thing. Sometimes we can feel like we're in an infinite spin cycle and there isn't a way to escape. Then I read further in Romans. "It is no longer I who does the thing I hate but the sin that dwells within me. For I know nothing good dwells in me." This is the way I (and maybe some of you) feel. You know that nothing good dwells in you and you feel defeated. Death is your flesh's main objective. Paul goes on to say,"Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?"(Romans 7:24)

                           The very next chapter in Romans changes tone in a significant way. Paul goes from the realization of his defeat to sin, to talks of a way to beat the flesh. Paul is absolutely right when he says there is nothing good that dwells in him. I feel like Paul much of the time. I desire to do what is the will of God, but I do the very thing I hate. The only way to defeat the flesh, is by the Holy spirit dwelling in our very core. Before Jesus died he promised that even though he was ascending to the heavens, he would send a helper to guide our path.(John 14:16-17) Jesus describes the "helper" as a spirit of truth whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. I have said that when I do what my flesh wants to do it feels natural. It's natural for your human body to desire lust and need instant gratification.In these situations I have to daily cling to the truth versus what I feel. The laws of God are a stone that I hold to in the darkest situations. What I feel is natural but what I am really seeking is the supernatural.

                        All humans have a secret. The secrets can range from thing of a sinful nature or small insignificant habits. The psalmist wrote,"You have set out iniquities before you, our secret sins in the light of you're presence."(Psalm 90:8) We want to look into the camera of our latest "Selfie" and pretend that we have our life all together. When the psalmist wrote this verse he knew it was truth. The truth is that mine and your secret sins are already known to God, and they will always be brought into his light. Before you can ever take off your mask he sees through it and he still loves us. (Romans 5:8) If you decide to take off your mask along with me there is promise of healing. (James 5:16) Coming out of our deepest, darkest palaces of secret sin begins to feel like a great weight has been lifted from your back. There is freedom, and power in the blood of Christ. If you decide to be open, and a little less plastic in your life;God will reward you in grace, and deeper relationships with your brothers and sisters. So, here I am. The mask is lifted and I am a sinnner in an ocean of his grace. My secret sins increased in size, but none of my sins are too big not to be swallowed in a great wave of his love.

P.S. Here a song to set the mood of this post: http://youtu.be/mLRjFWDGs1g
P.S.S. God Love You!
P.S.S. Does anyone read these?
P.S.S.S.Twitter:@leaninhowtodie
P.S.S.S.S.If you like the mask in the picture:http://www.dhgate.com/store/product/2013-masquerade-colorful-plated-handmake/163129520.html

Torn

                                     
                    "If Grace Is An Ocean We're All Sinking."

                                                     -John Mark McMillan

                                                    I remember the exact place I was when I received Jesus into my life. My grandparents had taken me to a funeral service of someone I've never met and still don't the name of. The preacher who was officiating over the service ended by talking about things I've heard before. " We have salvation through Jesus." "If you haven't received him today, there isn't a better time." When I recited the prayer in that chapel I honestly didn't understand the gift I have received. The word grace was rarely used in front of me, and even more rare the word salvation. The feeling I felt after reciting that simple prayer was new to me. I said to myself, "I'm forgiven?" I mean as a kid what do I need to be forgiven for? I never killed anyone or took drugs. Maybe I had lied a few times but I was a good kid. Its these thoughts in my adolescence that reflect our sinful nature and how far away we are from perfection. We can think we aren't "That Bad." We can look ourselves in the mirror and honestly say ,"I'm a great person." The next question after these statements would be, "Why do I need God?"

                                                     What we fail to realize is that God created us. When God created us he also created a set of standards to live by. God says, "You can eat from any tree you desire, but not the tree of good and evil, it will kill you."(Gen. 2:18) By making this statement God put in place a freedom, and opportunity to choose him instead of monetary pleasure. He gave us freedom in that we could partake in any fruit tree on earth but not this one tree. By restricting us from this one tree God wasn't trying to be a power hungry, greedy being. This wasn't God's tree that would pleasure you more than anything on earth. The reason God commanded that Adam or Eve not partake of the tree was that God wanted them to choose their creator over his creation. God wanted us so deeply to choose him over a fruit tree. I think this picture that has been there from the beginning paints the entire human race in a stain that can never be erased by our own doing. Instead of choosing God, Eve chose to partake of the fruit. By doing this, she chose the creation over the creator. All this is to say that we can say we are a nice person and that we are good to people. What we fail to realize is that we were born into a sinner's world. A world of death and idolatry. As God said from the beginning,"It will kill you." In sin there is only death. When we choose to love something instead of God we sin. Can you begin to count how many times we have chose instant gratification over eternal joy and intimacy with God.

                                                  Whenever Eve was tempted by the enemy of God, she believed his lies just like we do everyday. "He said you will die? "He knows you will be fine, he just doesn't want you to be like him."(Gen.3:4) When he says this to her, she begins to look at the tree with lust and she rationalizes away the her conviction to not eat the fruit. Whenever she begins to eat the fruit she also gives Adam some to partake of. When they take their first bites of the fruit it doesn't take long for God to notice there actions. The bible says he came into the garden and saw them partaking of the fruit. Something that has eternal ramifications has happened. After God came to see them, they realized the trap they had fallen into and felt shame. The tried to hide from God. How many times have we tried to hide our sin from God? How many times have we felt shame after we have failed? After they tried to hide from God;God called out for them saying, "Where are you?" This action from his first son and daughter hurt God so much. He loved us so much, and we decided not to choose his love.

                                                Ever since that day in Eden we have been separated from God. When I first heard of our separation of God I wondered, "Why can't God just forgive us and be done with it." I believe God can't forgive us because that would be going back on his own rules when he said not to partake of the tree. God's standards aren't there to send us to hell but to set us free. God's standards are perfect and therefore he is perfect. If he went back on his standards to allow us entry into his kingdom on our own works he would cease to be Perfect. As you may or not know the story of God and man doesn't end in the garden of Eden.

                                              Thousands of years after that day in Eden, God decided to put a plan in place that would change the course of history. In Genesis he said that partaking of the tree (or sin) would kill us. By saying this he said that sin will always lead to death. So God's plan was to send his only son to conquer death. His son came to earth and lived a perfect and sinless life. His son's name is Jesus. Jesus lived the life that God has intended for us to live. Even though Jesus lived perfect and never sinned, he died the death that we deserved. God loved us so much that he would send his only son to die a gruesome death that was meant for us so that we may have Grace. By Jesus taking on death he removed our separation from our Father. The bible says as soon as Jesus died the veil in the temple was torn from top to bottom.(Matt.27:51) This veil was sixty feet high ad thirty feet wide. This veil symbolized our separation from God, and when Jesus died it was ripped into two pieces symbolizing the abolishment of our separation. Before his death Jesus said that he would die, and be buried. The next part to his statement is the reason we have Grace at all. He also said that after three days he would rise from his tomb. By doing this he conquered death and the grave. Sin was crushed along with the grave so we could be free from the grips of our own nature.

                                             God invented and perfected grace. Grace is the promise of forgiveness no matter what you have done or where you have found yourself. The bible says when sin increases grace increases even more.(Rom. 5:20) Because of this grace we can be reunited in a relationship with our lover, God. You're loved more than you know and desired more than you can comprehend. God has overthrown the king of lies and his kingdom. This is not to say that we can keep sinning and know that its covered in Grace. Grace is a gift and we should show our gratitude by chasing perfection, and relying on grace to cover our short comings. If you are reading this and you haven't received this gift of life, read John 3:16 and feel free to shoot me an email or tweet at me and I would be happy to talk you through anything you would need. I want to close with a quote that is both poetic and a truth. "The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair."-Relient K

P.S. This is my email-learninhowtodie@gmail.com
        This is my twitter-@learninhowtodie
P.S.S. These are the songs I quoted from,God Bless!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvz0J0WBZPE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KW7CD29V4tU
P.S.S. Thank you M. Hogan for the wonderful painting.

                                           

                                               

                     
                                                                 

Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die

                                              
                                          One of the absolute truths on this earth is that everyone, everywhere dies. When the loss of someone you love hits you like a thunder storm in the night, you can look up and curse the sky that sent the rain; But it will still rain all the same. The lightning and thunder will put you on your knees, the feeling of pain seems to grow in each passing moment. When the pain of loss send you to your knees, something changes. When you are left face down in the mud and mire, You can hear a voice whisper, "I Love You, and I'm here to hold you through this." God says this to every living creature no matter how loud the storm and no matter how hard the rain. The writer of the psalms speaks this truth when he wrote, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)

                                           I can still remember the sound the time clock made when it was time to go into the night;on my way to see my grandmother for the last time. When I arrived I went straight into the room  of my "nanny's" final moments. As soon as I closed the door behind me, she breathed her last breath of oxygen into her lungs. The loss of her didn't sink into my soul until days later when her grave was covered in dirt. I knew for the first time that it was the last I would see her on earth. This feeling of loss sunk into my heart like a razor sharp knife, cutting everything it touched. I wondered like David, "Is God Asleep?."(Psalm 44:23)

                                          Everyone mourns in different ways. Some get angry, and some slip into a darkness where they feel no light can penetrate. What we fail to realize is that the point in the night that is most dark is just before the sun breaks the darkness. Getting to our knees in our brokenness will bring comfort in our lowest point. God hasn't fell asleep at all, he is waiting to hold your heart and comfort the storm inside you. In this time of need there will without a doubt forces that cause you to question God's will and sovereignty. God knew you before your birth, and knows the exact day you will come home. God's will and plan is beyond our comprehension but perfect nonetheless.        
                                                       

                                               When we lose someone it reminds us that our picture of forever is frail at best.  We want people, places and moments to last forever. In death we're reminded how everything is fleeting in this life and every moment counts. The reason we're here on earth in the first place is to love and serve. So I propose that in times of loss we look not up but in the middle of heaven and earth and love the people that need love the most. I want to close with a simple, and powerful quote from a tv series I have grown fond of. The quote sums up what God put us here for and makes a statement of the way we should treat everyone. Everyone will die, but its these times that remind us to never take one single interaction for granted. "Kindness is Magic." -Derek Noakes.

P.S. Thank you Ricky Gervais  for the inspiration and quotes.
P.S.S. Thank you David Crowder Band for the use of their title,"Everybody
wants to go to heaven, But nobody wants to die."
P.S.S.S. Here's a link to a song to listen to while reading....God Bless!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iE6koFfXSk
                                                                   

I Believe in You. Do You Believe in Me?

                               

                                              Concerts have an effect on me I've never been able to place. The electricity of a live show makes my skin tingle and my bones rattle with anticipation. Few bands have deeply affected me the way a little known Irish band known as U2 have. One show in particular really made me question God's personality and thoughts. Bear with me, I know this sound ludicrous but I'm getting to the point. In the bridge of their song entitled,"Elevation", Bono said the usual lyrics I have come to recite and sing in the shower many mornings. He said," Won't you tell me something true? I believe in you." That in itself doesn't sound profound or extraordinary in anyway at all, but there was a question asked after the statement,"I believe in you", that really turned my thinking upside down. He asked,"DO YOU BELIEVE IN ME?"                                                    
                                           I think a reasonable place to begin wrestling with this question is the story of the prodigal son. A father has two sons; the older son stays with the father all his life and remains obedient. His younger son made the choice early on to rebel against everything his father/older sibling stood for. He chose instead to squander his inheritance (before his father's passing) on  living fast and having good times. After a period of time he runs out of money. He finds himself alone and soon he has to work as a servant to survive. He soon realizes he can return home and become a servant to his family. In his mind he believed he was beyond redemption or reconciliation. He was lower than any servant could go, and he was out of reach of the love of his father. If you know the story of the prodigal son you know that the younger son wasn't beyond the vast love of his father. When the younger son returned his father was so overjoyed he couldn't wait for his return any longer. He chose to run to his son, arms opened wide, ready to hold his child in his arms. He threw a celebration, killing his fattest calf to feed the festivities, and gave his son a ring. The father in this parable is a perfect image of God's love for his wayward son. The father always hoped, and longed for his son to come home, and finally his baby boy arrived. The young man was shocked from the actions of his father. He came home in the hopes that they may allow him to be a lowly servant, but his father accepted him as if he had never left. This is to say that no matter where you have found yourself, or what monster you see in the mirror, God is ready and more than willing to hold you and love you beyond our comprehension.

                           I fully believe God (the father) is hoping for us to come home. Not having hope in the human we are, but what we can become through him, and him alone. God knows that our flesh and heart will fail (Psalm 73:26); but he sent his son so that we may have life, and life more abundantly (John 10:10.) So in closing, The answer to the question,"Do you believe in me?" Is simply Yes. But not for who you are, but what you may become through his abundant love, and endless Grace. (Romans 5:20-21)


P.S. Here is a link to the video of U2's Performance.-https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-naNHfMr4nM
P.S.S.Follow the blog on twitter @learninhowtodie.

Learnin' How To Die (An Introduction)

I remember driving in my car,beard blowing in the humid summer wind, when this song's turn came up to play on my Iphone. Its a song by the lovely Jon Foreman, and I have heard it before. But this time was different. The song's title is simple, yet it contains the essential ingredient in every Christian's daily life.  The song's title is,"Learning How To Die."
  
                                      I completely agree that every piece of music and literature is open to scrutiny and interpretation; This blog is a result of my interpretation of the title and the lyric content of the piece of music arranged by Mr. Foreman. The revelation I had was that anyone in this world can learn to live. But what is living? I see living as being a zombie. Breathing in oxygen as a lifeless, bland being. Listening and watching the latest and greatest in entertainment and news. Living is a dull thing to think about when you realize you do it for the remainder of you're 80+ years on earth, but what God proposed is so radical, it goes against everything on earth.
                           
                                     Jesus says ,"For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel's will save it." (Mark 8:35) Here Jesus is calling us to let go. He is pleading with us to lose everything that you have been taught by this world to do. To sacrifice (or even Crucify) your worldly self. Paul goes on to say," And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.(Galatians 5:24) As Christians, this is a daily practice and prayer that will transform everything about you.

                                   This Blog is here the sole purpose and teaching people how to die. I am (as the song title suggest), still learning how to die myself. I, and you will fail at this daily. But the defeat isn't when you fail, but it occurs when you quit struggling. When you finally let your flesh give into its instinct, and its desires. So there it is, my introduction to my first Blog. Come along for the journey God has called us to embark on daily.