Ecotone - an area of transition between two biomes.
Death is so final. Whenever someone dies we always think back to the last time that you spoke to them. You wish you had visited more and you wish you were allowed more time. We live in a fantasy world sometimes. We always say to ourselves that tomorrow will be another opportunity to spend time with a family member or friend. What if tomorrow never arrives? No more stories of the "good ol' days." No more time to hear their voice or hear their laugh. In these times or pain we tend to reflect on own life and how we spend our time. In this year alone I have lost my grandmother, followed soon after by my grandfather. Both of these people have had a positive influence despite their enormous differences.
When I ponder the last time a saw my grandfather alive I think of one statement that he uttered. It saddened me and made me reflect on my own life. "Why am I in so much pain? I thought that I've lived a good life." I didn't know how to respond to such a question. Now that he is gone I am left to ponder this statement until I am dead. Why would God allow him to suffer in his final days on earth? I'm not expressing my anger towards God, I'm simply stating that I have no concrete way to answer it. I don't know why God would allow him to suffer through so much pain. All that I know for sure is that God's understanding of this world surpasses my comprehension. I have to take hold of the promise that God's will is perfect and just.
When someone passes away there are many things people say to comfort you. "I'm praying for you." "If you need anything just call me." In times of deep pain and loss these statements are meant to comfort the person in the midst of loss. I appreciate anyone who takes time to actively try to comfort me in this difficult time. It serves of a reminder of the family and friends I'm surrounded with. In times like this I find that it helps to be around close friends and family, if only to reflect the past and ponder the future. I know that death has always made me wonder what's next for me. God alone knows the amount of time I have left. The only thing I have control of is what the dash on my tombstone represents. How did I spend this space in between these dates? I can only hope for enough time to love and laugh for years to come.
The last time I saw my grandmother alive she was barely breathing on a bed inside a hospice facility. As soon as I walked in she stepped out. I saw her a few moments before she passed and she seemed to be at peace. Surrounded by her loved ones and being comforted by a caring staff of nurses. I don't believe she suffered, but I do know that I did. She was the kindest soul I have ever met. Each visit always beginning and ending with a hug and a goodbye. I felt that no matter how old she got she looked forward to what lied ahead. I was recently sitting down for dinner at my grandmothers house (AD) and my wife pointed out something peculiar. My grandmother's calendar was still placed in the month of February. She passed away on febuary 27th, just shy of March. The lesson I have learned by this is that sometimes we get bogged down in the monotony of life. We are quick to assume that we will be alive the next day or month to "flip the calendar over." We truly never know when our river of hours will run dry.
An ecotone is what I believe earth to be. A transitional phase between two stages of life. Birth and death serve as mere milestones to a never ending story. In the midst of pain we have to cling to the truth that this is momentary. We're only here for a short time compared to forever. When we realize that the people we have lost didn't die it's a little easier to make sense of it all. They didn't die an eternal death, they simply crossed from the ecotone to their final destination. When we think of their deaths, it's a call to a carpe diem mindset. As Andy from the Shawshank Redemption puts it, "Get busy living or get busy dying."
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